challenging weekend

I went on a church retreat this weekend- and I was worried about food. I was over on my points each day, but I just chose to use my "bonus" points.

When I checked the scale this afternoon, I was still moving in the right direction!

There were a MILLION snacks in the cabin I was staying in, but (for the most part) I did really well making decisions. One time when everyone was eating spinach/artichoke dip, I ate (all of the) grapes.

Two small issues:
1. Brookside Chocolate Covered Pomegranates. Oh dear lord. You can get them at Costco. They are life changing. 4 points per serving- but only 1 point in 5. I think I 1 pointed my way through quite a few points!

2. Saturday afternoon, the cooks made a cheese log w/ raspberry chipotle sauce. Oh. My. Word. It is one of my favorite things. I was just going to have one "crackerful". ....14 crackerfuls later... I was feeling a little sick. I decided to let that just be my dinner, so I don't think I blew it as badly!


But, a great weekend- ready for the next 2 days to be FAB!! REALLY wanting that 10 pound sticker!!

Not what I was hoping for

Weigh in today. Not quite what I was hoping for, but down none-the-less!

I was down 1.2.
Putting me at a total of 9 pounds in 2 weeks. Nothing to frown at.

I'm trying REALLY hard to not be disappointed. I just gotta stay focused!!

I don't want to write anymore. Sorry.

back to work

Today felt pretty good- until I looked at my points at the end of the day- and I was already at 20! That left 12 more for dinner. Which is fine, except that I have been a snack master the last few days- especially in the evening.

But. I was able to man up and make dinner for a total of 8. Yay me. It was VERY vegetable-y. Broccoli, peas and corn, and carrots. Totaling in 2 points. U.A.

Planning to go work out here in a minute- but I'm watching the end of Enchanted with my mom.

Weigh-in tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous. My goal is to be at 10 pounds tomorrow. Which would mean I had to lose 2.2 pounds. Not sure if I have that in me. I'm hoping! Gotta get a lot of water in tonight- did NOT even get close to what I need at school today. It's funny how being at home has it's benefits (drinking lots of water) and it's drawbacks (snacking incessantly)- and school has them too. School's benefits are not tempted to snack at all. I can't. I'm in the classroom. I eat what I brought. But I drink like two sips of water during the day. It's terrible.

Weigh in tomorrow!! Ahh!

just another manic monday

I didn't work again. I swear to you that I have a job! We had a random holiday today. It was nice to sleep in... AGAIN.

But, I got up this morning and had a KICK ASS work out.
I did Biggest Loser's Weight Loss Yoga. Holy. Crap.

It hurt. I sweated. I burned.
I loved it.

You can customize it so it'll be 30-60 minutes, so you can build on it as you get stronger. Bob teaches it, so I think that makes it even better.

My plan is to this 3 times a week- and cardio 3 times a week. I'm gonna work up to that, but that's my BIG plan.

the reason I'm single

It's Valentine's Day. A day that was fun to hate when I was younger, but as I get older, it just makes me sad. I was alone for the day. I had things to do- and felt loved by people. But- in the sense of Valentine's Day- I was alone.

It got me thinking.

For my whole life, I have blamed being single on the fact that I am fat. I have blamed not having dates on being fat. I have blamed always being the "best friend" on being fat.

And I whole-heartedly believe that my weight is a huge factor. Men are visual. And I am not visually appealing. I am not what most men want to look at. So, it doesn't matter what I'm like as a person- they can't even get past the outward appearance. I have tons of guy friends, and I know that they love me- but I think that they don't even put me in the "date" category because I'm fat.

There is a fear in my heart that I will lose weight- and still be single. And then I'll have to take the pain and time to figure out what there is about me that needs to changed at that point. My fear is that there is MORE that needs to be worked on. Not that I'm afraid to become a better person, but that there is going to be some huge flaw that is revealed if I lose weight.

I think it's because I have a friend who lost 80ish pounds- and then totally lost her mind. She started drinking and partying 4-5 nights a week and having sex with people with reckless abandon. I don't want to be her. I want my personality to be close to what it is now- but just coming from a thin body.

I guess that's a decision I have to make. I'm just afraid of blowing it.

snow! bored!

It snowed here! Which is a big deal for Atlanta!

But, I haven't done anything- and I have been SO bored today.

I made some good decisions today. My mom was making dinner for my whole family- parents, bro and his fam, and me. I have a sister, but she's away in college.

My mom is always really good about counting the WW points in everything she cooks- so I knew that there were 9 points in a serving of Spaghetti Pie. Which-btw- is amazing.

I really didn't want to use 9 points on that, so I had to think through it. I decided to make a can of peas (1 point for the whole can) and eat that before the meal even began. Kinda weird to walk around eating green peas, not your typical "snack". Kept thinking. My mom had made a salad to go with dinner, but I knew that salad dressing would be more points- so I made a side of green beans to share.

When it came time to get my food, I cut a smaller-than-a-portion size piece.

So all good choices! More veggies, smaller portions, extra water. BRILLIANT. And it wasn't hard, it just required thought!

ugh. again.

Stayed home from work today to go to the doctor. Evidently, I also decided to eat all day. booooooooo.

FIFTY-THREE POINTS.
That's 21 over. Thank goodness for bonus points!

Yes. I wrote everything down.
Yes. I know that tomorrow is another day.
Yes. I will move on.
Yes. I know that it's ok.

In my defense, I went out to eat.
In my offense, I did NOT plan to go.

On another note. Saw Valentine's Day. GLORIOUS.